🗝️ 👁️ Let's escalate your intuitive genius + pattern recognition skills 👄🔓
🔮🪄 Become an instant mindreader without the wannabe Stevie Nicks aesthetic and bag of shiny rocks 🧙🧞♀️
(✨ although we obviously love those things around here ✨ and your Read People Like Subtitles pdf print-out would vibe well in your tote with the gems, feathers and a Muse tarot deck)
You didn’t get into the Enneagram to waste dozens of hours a week hand-holding internet strangers through tedious self-obsessed spirals and retypes in your DM’s. Nor did you get into it so you would have your insights hijacked by anime character discourse on /r/enneagram.
You’re a low-key mastermind who got stranded in the shallow end with the toddlers and bored house-husbands.
You don’t want to fix people.
You want to read them.
Like subtitles running under everything they say, everything they post, everything they pretend not to mean.
You clock the insecurity behind the looksmaxxing. The power-bottom energy behind the “I just want to help”s. You’re not reacting anymore. You’re straight up psychic.
Most Enneagram content is floating listlessly between dry theory and endless “healing” with a bunch of mistyped 9’s who are just doing their type pattern and calling it "integrating."
None of that translates to real world power.
Inside 👁️ Read People Like Subtitles 👁️, in one gorgeously eye-frying PDF, you’ll learn how to use the Enneagram the way it was secretly meant to be used:
- To spot patterns before they fully reveal themselves
- To decode what people are actually motivated by (not what they claim)
- To predict behavior in dating, friendships, and power dynamics
- To stop getting pulled into other people’s emotional theater unless you choose to
No journaling spirals. No babysitting. No kiddie pool.
Think of it less like “learning the Enneagram” and more like installing a second set of eyes (X-Ray vision, babe). Ones that see underwater and enable you to swan dive into the deep end (where you belong).
Read People Like Subtitles takes you to Super Goblin levels...
Pattern Recognition Princess makes you a ✨Supernatural Being. ✨
👉 Get the cheat sheet and start seeing what people are actually doing, not just what they’re saying.
👇 i like deals and i like to wait 👇
⚡🔌 🕹️The starter pack for predicting patterns, gaining social psychic powers and leaving them stunned (you don't have to tell them how you gained these newfound abilities 🤫).
🗝️ 📗 What you get inside this visually + verbally delicious PDF + VIDEO 🕯️ ✨
- ✨ 9 rapid-fire Enneagram type breakdowns
- 👀 Know ballpark what type you’re dealing with in 10 seconds
-
💋 Seduction style + shortcuts to deal with the types in the wild
-
📛 What to do when you’ve pissed them off
- 🪞Know them better than they know themselves
- 👁️ What they say vs what they mean
- 👑 What each type's natural pattern recognition skill is (including yours)
- 🫣 And what each type's communication/mindreading blindspot is
❌ What this isn't ❌
- Theory deep dive or history lesson
-
Gentle, trauma-informed breathing into your essence via your perineum
- Mega workshop (this is a taster for 👑 Pattern Recognition Princess 👑, should you choose you accept the call to adventure 🏔️)
Whether you're a fresh hatchling 🪺 in the Enneagram world or you've been around the block but are finding it to be useless and uninspiring, this will elevate your understanding of how the types act in the wild AND how to use it in social and romantic settings. 🥵
👀 see the patterns, read the players, bend the energy 🧚♀️
become the most powerful Princess, Prince or Royal Theylet in your world
Learn how types actually operate + see yourself clearly.
Jump the line and get on the waitlist for 👑 Pattern Recognition Princess 👑 below.
(pssst... 🤫 please note if you buy Read People Like Subtitles you get a code to save the price you invested into the PRP course)
your guide
I use the Enneagram to help you unleash the parts of you that you’ve stuffed into the dungeon: the cringe, embarrassments, brilliance and magic. I help you shed the parts of you that developed as a coping strategy as a child but are screaming and clawing at the walls of your nervous system and psyche to be set free. My desire is to provoke your genius and challenge you to keep climbing out of the comfort zone until it’s so far behind you, you could never go back.
🧠 Master Certified Mindset Coach
🌬️ Master Hypnosis + Neural Encoding Practitioner
🕯️ Somatic Transformation Practitioner
🌀 Enneagram Whisperer, professionally typing since 2022
guarantees? refunds?
no.
how is the workshop delivered?
pdf + video workshop
maybe a q & a if y'all hungry and nasty
"lifetime access" or until this app collapses